Appreciation – A Powerful (and Underused) Way to Connect
Humans thrive when our core needs are met – and appreciation is probably one of the easiest needs a leader can meet for members of her team. Simply, appreciation is the recognition of another’s positive aspects: either for who she is or what she has done and the impact. When someone expresses appreciation, we feel seen. And feeling seen is an essential part of connection and belonging – the building blocks of a team. A team is not just individuals working on the same task, but an interdependent and connected group where the skills and abilities of each member are leveraged. Appreciation is a necessary ingredient to create this cohesion.
Here are three ideas to help you easily increase appreciation and keep your team feeling great and connected:
One: find short and simple appreciations in the moment. In the team meeting, a new team member asks questions that surface assumptions that are worthy of re-examining. You may believe the new team member sees the value of her contribution because it stimulated good conversation. Or, you may wait for the next one-on-one to share your appreciation. However, there is an opportunity here that takes about 10 seconds. As you’re leaving, say something like, “Those were great questions. I appreciate how you surfaced some unexamined assumptions. It stimulated a valuable conversation. Thanks.” It’s immediate. It’s short. To the point. And, most importantly, it feels really, really good to the new team member. You have just signaled that she is valued and that she belongs.
Two: increase the frequency of your appreciation. You are trying to create a learning environment and improve communication with your team. A lot of what you are looking at is how the team can improve it’s processes and reduce the time it takes to process an invoice. Your team meetings and 1:1’s have been full of constructive behavior, focusing on what people can do differently. Your efforts are yielding results, but you’re also noticing a decrease in morale. Try increasing your appreciation of both the effort and the results. You may appreciate the effort by saying, “I appreciate how everyone is taking a hard look at our processes and is actively making improvements. I know progress can feel slow, at times, and I know that we’ll tackle this problem. Thanks for everything you’re doing to help us get there.” This is especially necessary when a sustained effort is required, and the end can be hard to see.
Three: understand how each member of your team likes to be appreciated. Some people like being appreciated and acknowledged in public. Others would feel mortified to be called out, even if it’s positive. The foodies among us may appreciate a gift card to a high-end restaurant, while someone with severe dairy allergy will probably feel invisible if she is given a gift card to a new ice cream stand. Unless appreciation is tailored to the person, you risk compounding a sense of invisibility and isolation.