For a long time, I thought my people-pleasing tendencies were a flaw—something I needed to fix if I wanted to be an effective leader. But the more I worked with leaders, the more I realized something important: people-pleasers are often the essential link in the chain of a team—the ones who hold things together.

The desire to keep everyone happy can undermine your ability to make tough decisions, hold others accountable, and drive necessary change. If you’re unsure whether people-pleasing is affecting your leadership, here are key signs to watch for—and strategies to regain control.

Diplomacy is often seen as a virtue in leadership—keeping the peace, ensuring everyone gets along, and avoiding unnecessary conflict. But what if I told you that too much diplomacy might actually be the thing that's killing your team’s performance, engagement, and innovation?

As a coach, I am deeply committed to walking my talk. However, taking up a new sport is certainly one way to excavate hidden recesses where old thinking still lies. Here is what I am noticing.

I am feeling stuck. Like, really stuck. And so, this has me thinking. Deeply. Here are some questions I am holding in that reflection.

Humans thrive when our core needs are met – and appreciation is probably one of the easiest needs a leader can meet for members of her team. Here are three ideas to help you easily increase appreciation and keep your team feeling great and connected.

If I you ask me something, can you trust that I’ll say ‘no’? Do you worry that I say ‘yes’ but don’t mean it and won’t follow through? Are you concerned that I’ll say ‘yes’ and feel resentful? How would our personal and professional lives be different if we could be honest with ourselves and others about our ‘no’s’ and then skillfully express them?

The pandemic is calling us all to stretch all our leadership skills, but perhaps none more than our empathetic leadership. How do we help our teams and organizations get through this emotionally?

As a manager, you can help your team focus on the work-at-hand by simply acknowledging how they are feeling. Not trying to fix it. Not trying to solve any problems.

Relationship building that once happened organically at the office now needs more intention, but it is well-worth the effort.

I commit to identifying the most important ‘yeses’ in my life, protecting them with constructive ‘no’s’ and supporting you in doing the same.

What if we all loved ourselves as much as we love others?